The OpenVisionZ blog #7 - "The Return of Long Dick Chappy"
|Long Dick Chappy|
Long Dick Chappy was introduced in a earlier blog and is back to lay the smack down on his hoes! Long Dick Chappy has been pimping for 39 years he started back in the days of the Reagan Administration and has had numerous hand surgeries from smacking his bitches silly. This is the story of how he turnt out a doctors wife after being in surgery for slapping the shit out of his main bitch so hard that he shattered his Pimpin hand. So the story goes like this one day Long Dick Chappy had a hankering for a chicken on cheese sandwich from his favorite fried chicken spot in town Chix Big Breasts Fried Chicken & Chili Waffles. So LD Chappy sent his best errand runner hoe Ms. Shirly Fudgy Buns Malloy to go get him some good ol Chicken on Cheese sandwiches and a 3 stack of bacon chili waffles. She was a white bitch so she didn't know much. She wasn't much of a earner as she had a anal issue and seemed to always have a mean case of leaky ass, so when customers started to complain due to the reverse shit stain affect Long Dick just made her a certified errand runner. That's neither here nor there though.
|Shirly Fudgy Buns Malloy|
LD's hand started to swell up and he realized that he just not only broke his pimpin hand but Shirly forgot the maple syrup for his 3 stack of chili waffles. Shirly was layed out cold on the floor blood leaking from her nose and shit leaking from her ass. Long Dick started to poke her with his bunion foot to wake her up and her eyes started to open and she slurred the words "hummus and hot pepper baklava flakes", LD made a non-plussed facial expression, then said "Where my money bitch?"
Shirly was concussed and had no idea where she was, LD went to cock back his pimping hand and squinted in pain then realized he broke it on Shirly's head. Now the main thing on Long Dicks mind was how's he gonna get to the hospital with this bitch all concussed and shit, she wouldn't be able to drive Chappy's Big Dick Caddy to the ER, so Long Dick decided to drive himself to the hospital and on the way he would stop by Chix Big Breats Fried Chicken & Chili Waffles for that maple syrup. Long Dick pulled up to the ER and parked his Big Dick Caddy in the ambulance spot, hopped out and headed through the doors to the ER and was immediately approached by security who asked him to move his vehicle, Long Dick Chappy raised his head and gave the security a long cold stare and said "Bitch, Don't you Know I Got That LD?" and the security guard turned around and waddled away perturbed and a bit sad. Long Dick walked into the waiting room started to yell out "Hey yo, Yo!! I broke my pimping hand on my bottom bitches head, lemme get a doctor!!" So a nurse grabbed a wheelchair and Long Dick sat down in it then pulled out his 3 stack of bacon chili waffles and started to drizzle maple syrup on them while telling the nurse that he would love to see what kind of anthropomorphic mouth skills she has and that she could make a pretty penny working the track for long dicked pimp like him, and that he could set her up something special if she wants to put it down on the track. She rolled her eyes and wheeled him into the X-ray room.
Long Dick's x-ray's were processed and Dr. Dike Mufkins came in and explained that he had three broken fingers and a cracked knuckle, and that he would need surgery and a few titanium pins and rods if he ever wanted to slap a hoe again. Long Dick Chappy has had few surgeries in the past, he has had a double penal implant and a penal reduction along with a few ass injections that his bitches were extremly jealous of. Long Dick agreed to the surgery and the surgery was a success, the Dr. explained that Long Dick would have to stop slapping his hoes for a little while if he wants his pimping hand to heal properly. Unfortunately Long Dick Chappy was a pimp and a pimp rules by the magnitude of his slap, and needless to say Long Dick had to get his money. Long Dick was so offended that Dr. Dikes was telling him that he would have to stop slapping hoe's for his pimping hand to heal properly that he sat up pulled out a bottle of pimp powder, sprinkled a little bit on and then slapped the living shit out of Dr. Dike Mufkins for saying that he would have to stop slapping hoe's. The Dr. hit the ground and Long Dick started to run his pockets looking for his wallet. LD grabbed the Dr.'s ID and credit cards and hopped in his Big Dick Caddy and started to drive to Dr. Dike Mufkins house in the hills. Chappy pulled up and rang the door bell. Dr. Dike Mufkins wife Mrs. Mufkins came to the door and said who are you? Long Dick raised his head and said "Bitch I'm Long Dick Chappy the slickest pimp this side of Harlem, and I'm here to collect bitch"
The woman was confused and a little turned on, she noticed the pins and rods protruding from Chappys hand and just as she asked if he knew her husband, Long Dick Chappy raised his secondary pimping hand sprinkled some pimp powder on it and smacked the silly out of Mrs. Mufkins - POWWWW!! Long Dick just recruited the Dr.'s wife with a pimp slap from heaven. She spun around and fell into a daze. Long Dick threw her over his shoulder and threw her Big Dick Caddy's trunk then began to drive back to the sleazy Hotel Fornication.
He pulled up to the hotel and Shirly Fudgy Buns Malloy opened the door and started to ask Long Dick where he has been and what he was doing "how were the bacon chili waffles?" and blah blah blah Long Dick reached back and slapped the hell out of Shirly and said "Bitch shut up and help me get this hoe out the trunk". LD and Fudgy Buns grabbed the Dr.s wife out of the trunk and began to bring her into Hotel Fornication. They layed her on the bed and then there was a knock on the door.
It was Dr. Dike Mufkins, bloody faced and asking where his wife is. Long Dick opened the door and said "Yo bitch chose me, now beat it punk bitch" Long Dick Chappy started to say he owns his wife now and she would be working the track down by junkie ally where the tricks get turned for rock bottom prices and that he would give him his wife back once she makes up for the money he lost during his hand surgery and she had to compensate him for the comment Dr. Mufkins made about not slapping hoes until it heals. Dr. Dike Mufkins was nervous and he didn't want to test a pimp on his pimp shit so decided to just walk away. By this time Dr. Dikes wife started to come to and she began to ask Shirly Fudgy Buns where she was and who's the little guy in the leopard print jacket and purple hat with the peacock feather in it, Long Dick turned around and said "I'm the Pimp that just made you a track star Hoe" She looked up and POWWWW!! Long Dick gave her a open hand slap, the translucency of the pimping powder cloud mesmerized Mrs. Mufkins and she began to strip down to her underwear and smear lipstick on not only her mouth lips but also her vagina lips, and at that moment Long Dick Chappy procured her the sobriquet "Cindy Sultry Lips Mufkins"!!
The next thing Long Dick Chappy did was smack her on the ass and told her "Bet Git My Money, Hoe, Bitch, you got dem sultry lips now get them to work" They hopped in the Big Dick Caddy and drove down to Junkie Ally. Junkie Ally was a bit off the beat and track but still in the perimeter of the hustlers and johns and so "Cindy Sultry Lips Mufkins" started her first day of thotting for LD Chappy the slickest pimp this side of Harlem!!
|I Got That LD|
|I Got That LD Hoodie|
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